Japan: Still Fucked Up

If you've been following this blog for awhile you'd already know about the Japanese Bug Fights, and how epically awesome they are. It seems like everything Japan does is over the top. Every faucet of their media seemingly has that one little part of it that just takes it to the next hilarious or disgusting level. So one would not be surprised that their pornography would follow suit. Avant Garde media outlet VBS provides a video short on one specific form of Japanese pornography: Genki. Video is NSFW.

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Pug Fight

This is some straight up Michael Vick shit. Check out these vicious ass pugs as they go at each others throats and shit!

Can't Script This

No comment. You hear me?

How to be Less Productive

Everybody loves the video game Super Mario Bros. But how much more awesome is the game if you play it as one of the other famous characters from NES gaming? Link, Megaman, and a few others from Nintendo history team up with Mario (SMB 2 style) in Super Mario Crossover to travel through all 8 worlds and save the Princess in their own unique style.

Die in a Car Fire

I don't really recall how I came across it; I think I went to the iTunes store and just clicked on the album cover cause it looked like some transgendered emo kid was on the cover, and for some reason I hate myself so I clicked on it. It was all a blur to me anyway. What matters is that I've come across what may be one of the most horrible genres of music ever. It's like emo-techno-pop. You take one faggy scene kid, give him a vocoder and some cheap software to make some beats and basically you've got it. I can honestly say it is some of the worst garbage I've ever heard. And, I hope they all die in a car fire for making this music. Not because I ever have to hear it again, trust me that won't be the case. But because somewhere, someone actually listens to this shit. And the only reason I can think of as to why they would do that is because they don't know any better. There can be no other option. No one in their right mind, who has any taste in music can listen to this shit and say "thank god, this is the anthem I've been looking for. Generic beats with faggy scene kids using a vocoder. Oh boy."
So here's a make shift list of bands that I'm not gonna wish death upon, but I wouldn't really be upset if their vehicle got hit by an airplane full of bears. Even if they survived it, I'd be fine with that. Because no one could survive getting in an accident, where a plane full of bears falls from the sky and some how crashes into your car, and write this shitty music. No one.

Hurry! Let's Go


The Medic Droid


Blood on the Dance Floor


Scene Kidz


Jeffree Star


All of them. Terrible. Die. Please.

America: Getting Fatter and Gayer, One Day at a Time

America used to be the home of the brave. Men used to lie about their age so they could join the army and fight for our country. And women did some brave stuff too, but for right now I want to just talk about men. Growing up, boys would think up new games to play outside: war, army ball, who can hit a squirrel with a rock. They used to fight when getting ready to play football outside and their friend said they were gonna be Reggie White, when they themselves wanted to be Reggie White. But more importantly they were outside. Kids also used to get the shit beat out of them. I should know. I was only born in '87 and I got smacked, and kicked around my bedroom. I can only imagine the ass whoppings that my parents got. Now if you look around, kids are being babied until they finally graduate college. Pee Wee football practices are quiet, when they used to be full of coaches yelling at the fat left tackle to get his ass off the line and make the block. Backyards where pick up games of Pickle used to be played are now empty. I've driven down countless neighborhood roads and never once have I had to wait for a couple of guys to yell "car" as they ran to get their hockey net out of the way.
Instead, parents are coddling their offspring, and not conditioning them for life. It's more then just having lazy kids who'd rather play video games than flashlight tag. It's more then having games where kids can't lose so no one's self esteem is hurt. It's even more then P.E. classes doing away with dodgeball because fat, nonathletic kids are getting pegged by hard rubber balls. What it's coming down to is the fact that we are raising our boys to be bratty, self-important, fat, lazy, and increasingly less masculine turd nuggets.
And it has nothing to do with being gay. If you're gay, you're gay. But what I'm getting at is our nation is turning into a field of vaginas. If the children are the future, we're fucked. These kids aren't even allowed to lose a game of soccer because points aren't kept, how the hell are they going to lead our country through the significantly tougher times in life?
There are so many whiny, fat ass brats around these days it's ridiculous. You can't even go out to a restaurant anymore without seeing some overweight dough-boy playing his gameboy at the dinner table. I was never allowed to have anything with me at the dinner table, not even a hat. But what the hell else is the kid going to do when you let him sit in front of the TV all day at home, and then in the mini-van on the ride to the restaurant?
In short, we're fucked. Kids are getting fatter and gayer. And eventually they're all going to turn into this little queen:


I can't believe how long and gay this video is.

Be the parent your parents weren't. We should all strive to be stricter then our parents before us. It's the only way we can reverse the process. Take their toys away. Make them go outside. Yell at them when they're bad. Tell them to stop being pussies when they cry cause they didn't win. Stop putting food and games in front of them so you don't have to be bothered raising them. Otherwise you're just churning out another pussy that'll never be able to make it in the real world.

Shotgun Harley: All That is Man

This funny or die skit is supposed to be an old 80's sitcom that got canceled. I say we get it on air right away. Television could use more gratuitous shotgun violence.

Fuck Them: Steampunkers

For awhile now I've been on the fence post about this whole "steampunk" fad. For those of you who don't know, steam punk is a style of art, fashion, etc. that revolves around Victorian era shit like machinery, or even just the fashion. Here are some examples.







What a bunch of fucking assholes. They have no idea how fucking stupid they look. What, did you just come off the set of Wild Wild West you shit heads? No, well then take off those ridiculous looking goggles. I may not know much about fashion, but I do know this. It's cyclic. In the late 90's everyone wanted to look like they were from the 60's and 70's with the bell bottoms and the return of the VW Beetle and all that shit. Then more recently people wanted to look like they were from the 80's and early 90's with their bright colored hipster pants, and the return of retardly colored Nike hi-tops. I even think those stupid multi-colored watches came back for like a week. Swatches or some shit. I don't know. And I don't care. Fuck them, they're gay. So I guess now that they're done emulating the 90's it's time to jump in the fucking time machine again and go back in time for inspiration. Only this time we're gonna pillage the 1800's. Wonderful. That makes perfect sense. There's a reason no one was wearing big fucking dresses, bulky coats, and goggles these days. It's fucking stupid and impractical. Why do you need those goggles? What are you commuting to work on your flying machine?

The worst part about steampunk is that it's killing itself. The above pictures are the shitty part about steampunk, because otherwise it could have been fucking cool. Really cool. Look at this shit.









Fuck yes that's a retro stormtrooper. And if you don't think that's cool then fuck you. So I can see why this type of trend could catch on. For art that is. Fashion wise it's ridiculous. It may actually be the final thing that bridges the gap between nerds and fucking hipsters. Which means hipsters now include people who wear old fashion looking vests and goggles and carry around their Nintendo DS with Pokemon in it. Spread the word.

The final tipping point for me of whether steampunk shit was gonna be cool, or piss me off was this video. Apparently there's a "band" that's too steampunk for you. They're so steampunk it's like they practically invented steampunk. They're so steampunk it exudes out of every pore in their collective bodies. How do I know they're sooo steampunk? Cause the fucking narrator/band member has to call the band and in turn himself steampunk in every fucking sentence.



I'm in Abney Park and we're a steampunk band and our clothes are steampunk and our music is steampunk and our instruments are steampunk and my hair is steampunk and the way I talk is steampunk and the way I fuck is steampunk and the way we record albums is steampunk and the way she dances is steampunk and I know we used to be a faggy goth band but now we're steampunk because steampunk is sooo cool and sooo punk. Steampunk.

Fuck it. Now it's gay. Now I hate it. Now I even hate that retro storm trooper. I'm lying. I love it. But still, I hate steampunk. If it was just a tattoo thing, or an art movement then that'd be one thing. But now it's a music genre too? Nope. I'll never call a band a "steampunk" band. Not just because it sounds gay, but because I have way too much respect for real punks to use the word punk to label something so shitty. If you have to call yourself punk, you're not punk. If you try to make up your own music genre, and add punk to it because you think what you are doing is akin to the punk movement of the late 70's and 80's, then you're not punk. And if you make music as terrible as Abney Park does, then you shouldn't even be alive. That was horrible.

If you want more information evidence of how nerdy/gay/retarded/and un-punk steampunk is, go to this website: http://www.steampunkmagazine.com/forum/index.php

Look through the forums, especially at all the pictures. What do you see? People who probably frequent the Renaissance Fair on a regular basis? The same looking people who 3 years ago were all into everything Japanese and had their Narato patches or whatever. I'm not a doctor, but it looks like cancer to me. Steampunk was dying since birth, and I'll be happy to see it go. I don't want badass retro stormtroopers being in the same category as some dragoncon attending fucks.