For awhile now I've been on the fence post about this whole "steampunk" fad. For those of you who don't know, steam punk is a style of art, fashion, etc. that revolves around Victorian era shit like machinery, or even just the fashion. Here are some examples.
What a bunch of fucking assholes. They have no idea how fucking stupid they look. What, did you just come off the set of Wild Wild West you shit heads? No, well then take off those ridiculous looking goggles. I may not know much about fashion, but I do know this. It's cyclic. In the late 90's everyone wanted to look like they were from the 60's and 70's with the bell bottoms and the return of the VW Beetle and all that shit. Then more recently people wanted to look like they were from the 80's and early 90's with their bright colored hipster pants, and the return of retardly colored Nike hi-tops. I even think those stupid multi-colored watches came back for like a week. Swatches or some shit. I don't know. And I don't care. Fuck them, they're gay. So I guess now that they're done emulating the 90's it's time to jump in the fucking time machine again and go back in time for inspiration. Only this time we're gonna pillage the 1800's. Wonderful. That makes perfect sense. There's a reason no one was wearing big fucking dresses, bulky coats, and goggles these days. It's fucking stupid and impractical. Why do you need those goggles? What are you commuting to work on your flying machine?
The worst part about steampunk is that it's killing itself. The above pictures are the shitty part about steampunk, because otherwise it could have been fucking cool. Really cool. Look at this shit.
Fuck yes that's a retro stormtrooper. And if you don't think that's cool then fuck you. So I can see why this type of trend could catch on. For art that is. Fashion wise it's ridiculous. It may actually be the final thing that bridges the gap between nerds and fucking hipsters. Which means hipsters now include people who wear old fashion looking vests and goggles and carry around their Nintendo DS with Pokemon in it. Spread the word.
The final tipping point for me of whether steampunk shit was gonna be cool, or piss me off was this video. Apparently there's a "band" that's too steampunk for you. They're so steampunk it's like they practically invented steampunk. They're so steampunk it exudes out of every pore in their collective bodies. How do I know they're sooo steampunk? Cause the fucking narrator/band member has to call the band and in turn himself steampunk in every fucking sentence.
I'm in Abney Park and we're a steampunk band and our clothes are steampunk and our music is steampunk and our instruments are steampunk and my hair is steampunk and the way I talk is steampunk and the way I fuck is steampunk and the way we record albums is steampunk and the way she dances is steampunk and I know we used to be a faggy goth band but now we're steampunk because steampunk is sooo cool and sooo punk. Steampunk.
Fuck it. Now it's gay. Now I hate it. Now I even hate that retro storm trooper. I'm lying. I love it. But still, I hate steampunk. If it was just a tattoo thing, or an art movement then that'd be one thing. But now it's a music genre too? Nope. I'll never call a band a "steampunk" band. Not just because it sounds gay, but because I have way too much respect for real punks to use the word punk to label something so shitty. If you have to call yourself punk, you're not punk. If you try to make up your own music genre, and add punk to it because you think what you are doing is akin to the punk movement of the late 70's and 80's, then you're not punk. And if you make music as terrible as Abney Park does, then you shouldn't even be alive. That was horrible.
If you want more
Look through the forums, especially at all the pictures. What do you see? People who probably frequent the Renaissance Fair on a regular basis? The same looking people who 3 years ago were all into everything Japanese and had their Narato patches or whatever. I'm not a doctor, but it looks like cancer to me. Steampunk was dying since birth, and I'll be happy to see it go. I don't want badass retro stormtroopers being in the same category as some dragoncon attending fucks.
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