America: Getting Fatter and Gayer, One Day at a Time

America used to be the home of the brave. Men used to lie about their age so they could join the army and fight for our country. And women did some brave stuff too, but for right now I want to just talk about men. Growing up, boys would think up new games to play outside: war, army ball, who can hit a squirrel with a rock. They used to fight when getting ready to play football outside and their friend said they were gonna be Reggie White, when they themselves wanted to be Reggie White. But more importantly they were outside. Kids also used to get the shit beat out of them. I should know. I was only born in '87 and I got smacked, and kicked around my bedroom. I can only imagine the ass whoppings that my parents got. Now if you look around, kids are being babied until they finally graduate college. Pee Wee football practices are quiet, when they used to be full of coaches yelling at the fat left tackle to get his ass off the line and make the block. Backyards where pick up games of Pickle used to be played are now empty. I've driven down countless neighborhood roads and never once have I had to wait for a couple of guys to yell "car" as they ran to get their hockey net out of the way.
Instead, parents are coddling their offspring, and not conditioning them for life. It's more then just having lazy kids who'd rather play video games than flashlight tag. It's more then having games where kids can't lose so no one's self esteem is hurt. It's even more then P.E. classes doing away with dodgeball because fat, nonathletic kids are getting pegged by hard rubber balls. What it's coming down to is the fact that we are raising our boys to be bratty, self-important, fat, lazy, and increasingly less masculine turd nuggets.
And it has nothing to do with being gay. If you're gay, you're gay. But what I'm getting at is our nation is turning into a field of vaginas. If the children are the future, we're fucked. These kids aren't even allowed to lose a game of soccer because points aren't kept, how the hell are they going to lead our country through the significantly tougher times in life?
There are so many whiny, fat ass brats around these days it's ridiculous. You can't even go out to a restaurant anymore without seeing some overweight dough-boy playing his gameboy at the dinner table. I was never allowed to have anything with me at the dinner table, not even a hat. But what the hell else is the kid going to do when you let him sit in front of the TV all day at home, and then in the mini-van on the ride to the restaurant?
In short, we're fucked. Kids are getting fatter and gayer. And eventually they're all going to turn into this little queen:


I can't believe how long and gay this video is.

Be the parent your parents weren't. We should all strive to be stricter then our parents before us. It's the only way we can reverse the process. Take their toys away. Make them go outside. Yell at them when they're bad. Tell them to stop being pussies when they cry cause they didn't win. Stop putting food and games in front of them so you don't have to be bothered raising them. Otherwise you're just churning out another pussy that'll never be able to make it in the real world.