If you don't know who the fuck Asher Roth is than just stop reading. Consider yourself lucky. And go look at the Belly archives for my recommendations of shit you should be listening to. If you wanna know who he is, or if you know who he is and just want a refreshment as to why I feel like I should hit him on the side of his head with the corpse of a rotting porcupine, than click here. I don't even want to embed that shit onto my blog, even if the embed function wasn't disabled on youtube. Fuck that. I don't ever want to hear more than 10 seconds of that song again. I tried to watch the whole video, so I could gain an understanding as to why someone would like that shit. I tried to watch the whole video so that I could find different aspects of Asher Roth that I particularly hate. But I couldn't. He just blows burrow boner.
I mean look at this fucking waste of life. How many dickfaces are going to wear the Animal House "College" shirt before it publicly becomes unpopular? I wasn't even born when the movie came out and I already think that shit is lame and played out. And I don't even give a shit about the controversy of the song where he talks about getting girls naked or some shit. You know what? For every dumb, drunk, guy at any given college, there's a dumb, drunk female that he's trying to get naked at any given moment. It's a guarantee. Men want to have sex with many women to display their manliness, and there's plenty of women in well established cliques that (usually subconsciously) try to one up each other by having the most amount of men attracted to them. Sometimes with no remorse or respect for themselves (read: whoring themselves out by getting naked at any and all parties). This isn't news. It's been going on since college was invented. When the group of people that got together to think of a higher education granting establishment in which people could become more knowledgeable within a certain field, that same fucking day, they came up with the ratio of naked women to cheering men. And it was good. That's the fucking story. So don't go "aww" when someone says they like to go to college parties and get girls naked. They generally have no respect for those women who have no respect for themselves. But it's natural. Women get naked, and guys do stupid things like light their pants on fire or try to headbutt through their roommate's door to see if he's having sex in there. But what the fuck am I talking about? This entry's about that asshole Asher Roth. Just look at him. I only need to see that picture to know that his music sucks raw and rabid wildebeest cock.
And he was signed by Eminem. Like that hack knows anything about fucking talent. That guy couldn't wrap a present. Ah thank you very much.
I actually heard the name Asher Roth before I even heard his song. And I knew that he would piss me off. His name is Asher. Who the fuck names their kid Asher? When the one parent said to the other "Let's name our kid Asher", the other parent should of been like "Uhh, let's have a fucking abortion. I can't do that to the world. I can't bring a kid into the world named Asher. He'll immediately have some type of unwarranted self-entitlement with a name like that and I just know he'll go on and make shitty music."
I don't even care that the fucker wants to rap. I don't care about the "act your own race" shit. Just have some ounce of fucking talent you genital wart. But yeah, at first I thought Asher Roth was Kevin Rudolf. I saw Kevin Rudolf perform on some nighttime talk show and I thought to myself "Surely this must be the asshole named Asher". I didn't know cause I don't listen to the radio much anymore. I tried it the other day, and then fucking Lady Gaga came on and I freaked out and drove up on the sidewalk and hit a lady pushing a stroller. Kevin Rudolf, if you don't know, is some other cocksucker that does that song "Let it Rock". For some reason or another Lil Wayne is featured all through out the music video, which you can see if you click here. Yeah it's another major music label that wants people to watch the music videos but doesn't want people to embed them anywhere. Like that makes any fucking sense. So you can imagine the look on my face when I found out that Kevin Rudolf was indeed NOT Asher Roth. Fuck me. You mean there's two assholes making shitty music like this? Actually I wasn't that surprised. I was more disappointed than anything. I was also disappointed to see Lil' Wayne in the video. What the fuck is Weezy doing with that shitty white guy singing a faggy rock/dance song? Did Lil' Wayne just throw up some horns? Does he think he's being "metal". Fuck. Well I've lost respect for him. And if either Asher Roth or Kevin Rudolf make a guest appearance on The Carter 8 or 9 or whatever number he's up to than I will have lost all respect from him and crown him whiter than Snow. This Snow from the 90's:
Look, white boys. If you're gonna rap that's fine. But you have to work at it. You can't just get on a mic and expect that you're awesome. You have no street cred. Even if you grew up in Detroit and had to kill a man once on the way to school, you will never be seen as a gangster. Black guys, they can name themselves what ever fucked up vowel-less name they want to and rap about their crabs. It doesn't matter. You can't. If you need an example, look no further than other noted Canadian rapping talent, Chuggo.
I put mayonnaise on everything, that's how I eat.
Now THAT'S real-talk. You think Chuggo would rap about college? Even if he had gone to college, Chuggo would immediately know that rapping about college is lame. Asher Roth. Come on fucking guy. Who the fuck are you?
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